The Mermaid Chair discussion (book club)

Question:
 Do not read any further if you do not want this to spoil your future read! :)
I've sent a little note with my book so hopefully it makes it's way around and it can be used as a book mark!
I found this book to be very interesting. It almost screams "mid-life crisis and how do I react to it" to me. I think so many ppl are in long term marriages and have families but loose themselves and then find that spark from another man and wonder if they should act on it. Some do. In this case it invovles a monk which I find to be a bit disturbing (thinking Catholic here) but then again the monk-hood is entirely different. The book does lend itself to romance and mystery with that.
I did find a few questions to talk about.
1. How does a woman like Jessie become "molded to the smallest space possible"? What signs might appear in her life? What did Jessie mean when she said part of the problem was her chronic inability to astonish herself?
2. Jessie comes to believe that an essential problem in her marriage is not that she and Hugh have grown apart, but that they have grown "too much together." What do you think she means by that? How important is it for Jessie to find her "solitude of being?" How does a woman balance apartness and togetherness in a relationship?
3. How would you describe Nelle before and after her husband's death? What is your interpretation of the mysterious factors that led her to cut off her finger? What do her fingers symbolize? How does the myth of Sedna --- the Inuit mermaid whose severed fingers became the first sea creatures --- shed light on Nelle's state of mind?
4. Jessie feels that she has found a soul mate in Whit. Do you find this word inviting or repellent? When we speak of looking for a soul mate, what do we mean? Is there really such a thing?
5. The mermaid chair is a central image in the novel. What does it symbolize? What role does it play in the novel? In Jessie's life? In her father's? How does it become a place of dying and rebirth for both of them, literally and figuratively?
6. How would you describe Jessie's relationship with her father? How did having an absent father affect her? How did it affect her relationship to Hugh? What do you think Kidd was suggesting by the image of the whirley girl?
7. The novel celebrates the hallowed bonds of women and suggests how a true community of women can become a maternal circle that nurtures a woman toward self-realization and helps her to give birth to a new life. How do Kat, Hepzibah, and even Benne, play a role in Jessie's transformation? What has been the importance of female communities in your own life?
8. The Mermaid Chair suggests that a love affair may be a common response to a marriage that has lost its way, but that in the end it is not a solution. In what way do you think the novel is a "cautionary tale?" Why do you think Jessie is unable to heed the warnings from Kat and Hepzibah? How could Jessie have found awakening without betraying her marriage?
9. Upon her return home, Jessie says There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from Hugh's heart in spoonfuls and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough." Why does Jessie return to Hugh? Why is Hugh able to accept her back into his life? How has their relationship changed since she left for Egret Island? How has Jessie changed?

Answer:
 I read this book this summer. It is not to me yet for the book club, so can I still talk about it with you guys??

Answer:
 I read this book this summer. It is not to me yet for the book club, so can I still talk about it with you guys??
Yes, you don't have to read it again, Kirsten. By all means, talk away!

Answer:
 I really liked this book. It spoke to me for some reason. Perhaps it's a universal thing for women. We get married and become someone's wife. We have children, and become someone's mother. And in the mix of it all, we forget who we are. It is a story of what could happen to any of us. We are all vulnerable.
I really had to get used to Sue Monk Kidd's writing style. I didn't think I would initially be able to read the book. Her usage of hyphens and her runs on sentences were maddening and took some getting use to. At first, I had fun counting how many lines her sentences would run onto. I stopped at 8! :D It didn't take long though for me to forget about all of that and become engrossed in the story and the characters.
Great read!! And, by the way, I feel like I was in 11th or 12th grade again by answering your questions. I felt like I was writing mini essay's!;):p:
1. How does a woman like Jessie become "molded to the smallest space possible"? What signs might appear in her life? What did Jessie mean when she said part of the problem was her chronic inability to astonish herself? I think she meant that she had become so consumed with the life of her husband Hugh and her daughter, that she had lost herself. Her life and what mattered to her became the smallest space possible within herself. What she loved doing, her art, etc became pushed aside.
2. Jessie comes to believe that an essential problem in her marriage is not that she and Hugh have grown apart, but that they have grown "too much together." What do you think she means by that? How important is it for Jessie to find her "solitude of being?" How does a woman balance apartness and togetherness in a relationship? I think most of us confuse those two statements, "growing apart and growing too much together". Again, I think growing too much together is her way of saying she became lost in his life, in his thoughts. She thought that Hugh wouldn't take her interpretation of her mother's insanity seriously. He was the expert; she didn't matter; "let me handle it " type of mentality. Jessie had to find herself again. I think a woman balances the apartness and togetherness by taking time for yourself, by doing things that interest you. I think it is important that we don't forget ourselves and abandon our other passions. When a woman doesn't forget that and takes the time to connect with herself, she is able to bring a much happier and stable being to the marriage.
3. How would you describe Nelle before and after her husband's death? What is your interpretation of the mysterious factors that led her to cut off her finger? What do her fingers symbolize? How does the myth of Sedna --- the Inuit mermaid whose severed fingers became the first sea creatures --- shed light on Nelle's state of mind? Wow, Nelle was certainly a mess in this book. I was often confused on where the story was going with her character. I had no idea it would end up being as it did. Before her husband's death, she laughed, had a sense of humor, had friends she enjoyed and wasn't as religious as she was after her husbands death. After, she closed herself off from her family and friends, and everything in her life was about religion, whether it be the saints or God, or the monks.
At first I had no idea why she was cutting off her fingers. There for a while, I thought that she was insane and perhaps she had killed her husband b/c he found out that she was having an affair with one of the monks, and perhaps he went into a rage and threatened to kill or expose them. But, that theory didn't last long. When Whit showed Jessie the books he obtained about the Saint cutting off her fingers as a penance, it made much more sense to me. And after finding out how her husband really died, it made alot of sense. He basically died at her hands (and fingers), and felt alot of guilt over this. When she read about the saint and the mermaid who did this as a way to shed a few body parts to avoid the entire body going to Hell, she grabbed onto this religious idea.
4. Jessie feels that she has found a soul mate in Whit. Do you find this word inviting or repellent? When we speak of looking for a soul mate, what do we mean? Is there really such a thing? When I first started the book, I really didn't find Jessie very likable. I loved Hugh. He seemed like a really good husband who really loved his wife. But, after exploring Jessie's thoughts and her past and after meeting Whit and hearing his story, I loved him too. I think that Jessie and Whit were two lost souls that met and had so much in common that they fell in desperate love. I couldn't say for sure if they were soul mates. There was definite passion there. Both of them had been without it for so long. Like I said, it was desperate. They obviously had a deep connection. I really fell in love with Whit, myself. He was really appealing to me in this story. Yet, H ugh was too. Hug h was the rock, so dependable, so reliable, so predictable. I think the predictability was one of the things that turned Jessie off about Hugh.
Remember when Hugh was reading his book on Jung I think it was to try to look at his situation and Jessie's behavior from a professional standpoint? Remember how it said something to the effect that when ppl are in a crisis and they meet someone, the natural thing is to fall in love? I really agreed with that theory and thought that it applied here.
5. The mermaid chair is a central image in the novel. What does it symbolize? What role does it play in the novel? In Jessie's life? In her father's? How does it become a place of dying and rebirth for both of them, literally and figuratively? Wow, these are really tough questions!!!! The mermaid chair was this mystical/religious chair that sat in the abbey where tourists and locals alike could sit in it, ask a question, and magically the answer would somehow come to them. Yes, the entire novel is based on this chair. Jessie's artwork, local shops are mermaid-themed. And the chair became a bittersweet object for Jessie. For she remembers the times when her father would take her to it and tell her stories; of St. Senora's Day, when her father would help carry it through town. It was also the beginning of her affair with Whit. She was there in the chair seeking answers about him, her marriage. And ultimately, she discovers this is where her father chose to end his life. :(
6. How would you describe Jessie's relationship with her father? How did having an absent father affect her? How did it affect her relationship to Hugh? What do you think Kidd was suggesting by the image of the whirley girl? Jessie, was a defininte daddy's girl. They seemed to have a very intense relationship. Later on she ended up marrying someone who would take on a fatherly role, and that almost became one of the reasons for her marriage falling apart. Whirley girl? I don't know. Perhaps she meant something about something so fragile, yet not breaking apart, and cherishing it. Hmmm, interesting. I never really gave the whirely girls much thought.
7. The novel celebrates the hallowed bonds of women and suggests how a true community of women can become a maternal circle that nurtures a woman toward self-realization and helps her to give birth to a new life. How do Kat, Hepzibah, and even Benne, play a role in Jessie's transformation? What has been the importance of female communities in your own life? I think that Jessie was able to get a little bit of what she needed out of each of these women. From Kat she got brutal truth; toughness; and a closeness to her mother. From Hepzibah she got more of a mystical mother, who was able to bring knowledge through history and nature. In my opinion, Hepzibah represented a Mother Earth type of role. And Benne, was able to provide validation to her feelings for Whit. All of these women together were able to help her heal her marriage, her mother, her relationship with her mother, through their friendship and love. I love to read books with a strong female bond and love for each other. Each woman posseses something unique and special.
8. The Mermaid Chair suggests that a love affair may be a common response to a marriage that has lost its way, but that in the end it is not a solution. In what way do you think the novel is a "cautionary tale?" Why do you think Jessie is unable to heed the warnings from Kat and Hepzibah? How could Jessie have found awakening without betraying her marriage? I think that this novel is a warning to all of us the dangers of letting ourselves go, not in a physical sense, but in an emotional/mental sense. This could and does happen to so many of us. The "empty nest syndrome" happens all the time.
Jessie is unable to heed the warnings from Kat and Hepzibah b/c she thinks that her situation is unique from theirs. She thinks that she is immune from their heartwrenching endings. When you first fell in love, didn't you ever think to yourself or either say to your loved one, that the love you have, is the most unique, special, intense love in all the world? That is how Jessie felt about the warnings.
Hmmm, could Jessie had found the true awakening without betraying her marriage? It was what it was. She wouldn't have been able to come to the same conclusions without going through that experience. I think she had to know loss before she could appreciate and want it again. Interesting question...
9. Upon her return home, Jessie says There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from Hugh's heart in spoonfuls and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough." Why does Jessie return to Hugh? Why is Hugh able to accept her back into his life? How has their relationship changed since she left for Egret Island? How has Jessie changed? Jessie returns to Hugh b/c she realizes that the things that he posseses that initially sent her away, are the things that she cannot live without. She realizes that her love with Whit is fleeting and Hugh's love for her is everlasting. I think that Jessie getting the answers behind her father's mysterious death becomes an epiphany to her marriage and her future. She comes to realize that Hugh is the rock. Jessie has become her own person that doesn't "need" a man to fulfill her. With that, she is able to return to a marriage and make it new and good again.

Answer:
 If I'm not in the book club but I read the book can I still reply?

Answer:
 If I'm not in the book club but I read the book can I still reply?
I posted this in another thread.
For those who missed the sign ups
If you missed the sign ups and would like to join the book club, please refer to our book list, and go to your local library and check out any of the books on our list. We would love for you to participate by joining in the discussions of these books. That's the most fun part anyway.
Happy reading! :)
SO YES!!!!!!! REPLY ON!