How do you know when it is time?Question::( Our 14 1/2 year old yellow is not doing too well. She is losing weight and is very, very instable in the hind legs. She cannot see well and has lost most of her hearing. She was dx with cancer a few years back and had a front toe removed. She also has a bad looking wart on her tail that has been there for a while. She is constantly licking at the wart making it bleed. The vet said that we'd have to remove the whole tail. When she lays down (w/out sleeping) she has been making snoring noises lately We tried her on Rymadly, but that increased her thrist and she was having accidents in the house. She has never had accidents in the house. When we took her off of it, the peeing inside stopped. Her stability in the back end seems to get worse and worse, but she is showing no signs of being in pain. I always said that we would not do anything until she was showing signs of pain. Today she seemed to have a difficult time going to the bathroom because of the weak back end. She does get up from time to time, but when she is standing still, her back end sways back and forth. She will usually start sinking to the ground. I usually pick her back end up so she can stand on her own. She has also started to have this clear eye drainage within the past two weeks. I have just been wipping her eyes with a wet cloth. This seems to be the least of her problems. I don't want to be selfish, but wondered what any of you thought. We unexpectedly lost our 10 yr old in February and it was so tramatic on us. We understand that Butter is old and I am slowly realizing that it is getting to the end of her journey here. How long do we hold out? Do you think that she is in pain? I know that we should ask our vet, but wanted your feedback. Thanks Danie Answer: First of all, kudos to you and your family for raising a doggie to a ripe age of 14 years!! That's great!! Second, it sounds like these spiraling health problems are raising some issues in your head as to when the appropriate time would be to consider euthanasia. Unfortunately, you're the best judge of when this time is-far better than any of us. I'm curious as to what advice you've gotten from the vet as far as what kind of time to expect, whether or not the pup is in any pain or discomfort, and what can be done to maintain pup's quality of life. In reading your post, it seems as though you may be looking for validation on a decision that you've possibly already made, or are at least leaning toward. There is no shame in sparing your friend of 14 years pain if that's what you decide. On the contrary, I consider it a final act of kindness to a loved one that has given you so many treasured years. Good luck in making this terribly difficult decision with which you are faced. Answer: I always said that we would not do anything until she was showing signs of pain. Unfortunately, it sounds like you already know it's time. I'd discourage you from waiting until you see signs of pain since dogs have such a high threshold and even some seriously injured dogs don't show any pain. Some people will say you're the only one to decide and will know when it's right. But more times than not, people hang on too long. Either way, you've done your job for 14 years and should not question yourself once you make the decision. Answer: First of all I am so profoundly sorry you are in this position. I think as an animal lover it is probably the hardest decision you ever have to make. For me the decison has always been based on the dog's quality of life. Does the dog still enjoy life - does it still enjoy being a dog? From the sound of your post it does not appear that way. We humans are so emotional - we can't help it - we are who we are. Our own pain of impending loss takes over and we tend to see what we want to see. Again it is what makes us human. I work at a vet's office - it tears me apart to watch people make the decision to send their friend to the bridge. I also am in awe of their strength when the time comes. There is no greater love than to hold your pet and help it across. It is the selfless and right thing to do when the lights start to dim and our beloved pets are suffering. I think you know the answer to your own question. If your vet agrees that all quality of life is gone then you must be strong for the sake of your dog. The fact that he made it for a few years with the cancer is testement to the care you gave him. You will do the right thing - it will be hard and you will feel like your heart is breaking. That is when you lean on people like us who understand your pain and loss. God bless you thru this very difficult time. Answer: Please know that you have given her a wonderful life. Many dogs cannot be vocal about their pain & levels of pain & most won't. Danie, know that you have friends here on this board & are here for you during this. Also, I will share with you that I have a saddened heart myself with my 2 seniors passing both within 9 months of eachother, most recent a month & half ago. They were father & daughter, I had held her in my hand the moment she was born, and I never left either of their sides in the end. I am grateful that I was able to help them cross, My Vet and the staff emabraced me during that and told me I was giving a Gift, the kindess gift... :hug: good luck to you Danie thru this & remember you have friends here. Martha Answer: Danie, What a difficult time it must be for you and Butterscotch. It is possibly one of the most difficult decisions to make. Its sounds like you are concerned about Butterscotch and her quality of life on a day to day basis knowing that your time is limited. Dogs can be stoic. Having Butterscotch for over 14 years makes it even more difficult. Talk to your Vet about the weakness and difficulty with standing on her own. You may want to read the Senior Dogs Project http://www.srdogs.com/Pages/loss.html We had our Harley over 14 yrs and I understand how your heart is breaking. It is apparent you love your Butterscotch very much. Lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: s to you and your darling Butterscotch. Answer: Sorry that you're in one of the hardest situations as a pet owner :(. IMHO, Butterscotch is already telling you what you don't want to hear. Having been there many times with our past pets, I've learned that just by looking in their eyes will tell you when it's time. One of ours had a pleading look of "I'm tired, please let me go", she died that same day :(. Another thing that helps us to decide is something an old vet once said to me "put her (Nellie) out in the elements and see how long Mother Nature lets her live"...cruel to hear, but true. Heartfelt hugs to you during this very difficult time, and :hug:s to Butterscotch as well. Answer: Hi Dani, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Both you and Butter are lucky to have 14 years together. It is so rare. My parents had a 14 year old lab too. He and I grew up as siblings and when he got really sick I was married and had moved away. My parents questioned themselves too. But, since I wasn't with him everyday and was more removed from the situation I could see how pathetic he had become. I think he was humilated that he couldn't get himself up without someone pulling him up from the hind legs. How humilated he was when he would fall and urinate in the house. Everyone knew the time had come but them. It's so hard to let go and to admit defeat to the illness, age, etc. They finally put him down. The vet came to the house and did it and we were all there for his last moments. For 10 years my dad doubted himself thinking he had done it too soon. They were visiting me a couple of weeks ago and I pulled out an old video of Boomer's last days. And he finally saw and knew that he waited too long. Fast forward 8 years and I found myself in the same situation with my own dog. A 14 yo lab mix with horrible arthritis. He had good days and bad days, and I know you want to hold onto the "good days"; but are they really good? I remember going to sleep every night praying to God that He would just take my dog in his sleep so I wouldn't have to make the decision. I'd wake up every morning disappointed that he hadn't gone peacefully in his sleep. I kept waiting for a look too. I think I got one, but I'm not sure. All I saw was an old dog who was so tired all the time. Remember they hang on for us too. Unfortunately giving him permission to go didn't work and I finally put him to sleep. I didn't think I had waited too long, but I know others did. I still think 6 months later that I did it at an appropriate time. In my opinion no one can tell you to do it. I kept waiting for my husband to tell me it was time, but I had come the same conclusion shortly after. I think you need to look deep into your heart and really look at the reasons why you want him to hang on for you. For so many years our dogs our there for us through it all and it comes down to being there for them in the end. I know from your concern that you won't let Butter down. Cherish your last days with him and don't be afraid to let him go onto a more free place. My thoughts are with you and Butter. Michelle Answer: What a full life your pup has lead! It's sad to see an animal deteriorate that has been an integral part of your life. I would recommend seeing your vet - having an eval done and then see what the feedback from the vet would be, then decide from there. No one wants to see their beloved pet suffer, I agree, it seems as though you are coming to terms with a decision already. Best of luck with whatever path you take. Only you know what is best for your pet. :hug: Answer: I'd discourage you from waiting until you see signs of pain since dogs have such a high threshold and even some seriously injured dogs don't show any pain. Some people will say you're the only one to decide and will know when it's right. But more times than not, people hang on too long. Either way, you've done your job for 14 years and should not question yourself once you make the decision. I'm very sorry for what you're going through right now. I know it's hard. Many have been in these situations. We want what's best for our animals but at the same time, we want to keep them as long as we can. My 14 y/o Siamese had to be pts June 1st. I felt & still feel terrible over it. It was the first time I had to make a decision like that. I think & rethink more! I liked the quotes above b/c they reminded me of what DH & my family keep telling me: *animals don't show symptoms of pain like we'd expect of humans & that....we wait too long. For me, I was being selfish....in hindsight, I think DH is probably right...she "was" in pain but I chose not to believe it. If I've learned anything from the horrendous experience, it's that I wouldn't want any of my animals to suffer as much as my 14 year old kitty.:( Answer: BaxtersMama made a comment that may have slipped past.... that the vet "came to the house". Since '85 we have had that same arrangement with out vet. Crossing 'the Bridge' in the comfort and security of the pet's (and our own) home enviornment seems so much more dignified and less stressful for all concerned. To those that still 'have time', I urge you to consider this option. If your 'regular vet' refuses, try to find a 'large animal' vet in your general area - they are much more amenable to this idea. It may entale an additional "house call" charge on the bill, but in hindsight you will find it was well worth it. Just something to consider in advance........ Answer: I'm so sorry you are faced with this difficult decision. Many of us know exactly how you feel. I myself had to go through this in December and it was a very hard time. Shadow was 3 weeks short of her 11th birthday. No one can tell you when it's time. I weighed the good days against the bad days. When the bad outnumbered the good, I knew it was getting close. Shadow had trouble standing as well and couldn't eat or drink because she couldn't stand long enough to do so. I was hand-feeding her and feeding her water from a water bottle. Eventually, she couldn't get up at all. Through it all, she never seemed in pain. Instinctively, dogs hide their pain. If they are showing it, they must really be hurting. We are all here for you if you need support. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Answer: We were faced with this difficult decision last year. I still remember our vet's words...“Rocky's at the point when many very painful things can happen, such as a fall...better one day too soon than one day too late." Shirley Answer: Danie, How is Butter doing? |
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